As a psychologist dedicated to mental health awareness and support, I’d like to introduce a concept central to our understanding of emotional regulation: the “Window of Tolerance”.

This concept, developed by Dr. Dan Siegel, offers insight into how we process emotions and stress.

It is particularly useful for those who have faced a lot of stress in their life or experienced trauma.

What is the Window of Tolerance?

The “Window of Tolerance” is the optimal zone of arousal where individuals can effectively manage and thrive in their emotional and sensory experiences.

When we are in this space, we can engage in meaningful activities, process information and connect with others. It’s where we’re at our best, emotionally and cognitively speaking.

When we are pushed outside of this optimal zone, our ability to cope with stress and emotions reduces. We become hyper-aroused (overwhelmed) or hypo-aroused (numb or disconnected).

Size does matter

When we are in our window of tolerance, we can react to stress, anxiety, and intense emotions in healthy ways.

The larger our window of tolerance, the greater our capacity to deal with stress, and respond to the demands of everyday life. The smaller the window of tolerance, the easier it is for us to become dysregulated.

Some people’s window of tolerance is quite wide: they can feel comfortable with relatively high levels of emotional intensity, and a broad range of emotions can be felt and tolerated.

For others, particularly those who have experienced prolonged stress or trauma, it’s often difficult to regulate emotions and the optimal zone of arousal becomes quite narrow.

This is a concern as hyper/hypo-arousal are linked to various mental health challenges – and other chronic diseases.

Hyperarousal – high activation

Hyperarousal is also known as the “fight, flight, or freeze response” and is a heightened state of activation/energy. It’s when the nervous system suddenly becomes on high alert, even when danger might not exist.

People may not feel in control over their actions here.

It can often be triggered by perceived threats, traumatic memories, or specific emotions. It is also one of the primary symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

People in hyper-aroused states often struggle to have healthy sleep, have difficulty managing emotions, and struggle with concentration.

Physically, their bodies may seem tense and on the brink of explosion, which can eventually result in anger outbursts and behaviour which may seem hostile.

Hyperarousal Signs:

  • Angry outbursts
  • Fear
  • Anxiety
  • Emotional overwhelm
  • Panic
  • Hypervigilance
  • Tight muscles
  • “Deer in the headlights” freeze

Hypo-arousal – shutdown 

Hypoarousal is the “shutdown” or “collapse” response, and it occurs when there is too little arousal due to an overloaded nervous system.

Like hyperarousal, it’s often triggered by feeling threatened, recounting traumatic memories, or feeling emotions associated with past trauma.

Even a perceived threat can be enough to send someone into shutdown.

Hypoarousal signs:

Hypo-arousal can impact sleep and eating habits, and leave people feeling emotionally numb, socially withdrawn, and finding it difficult to express themselves. Common signs include:

  • Depression
  • Numbness
  • Emptiness
  • Flaccid body
  • Blank stare
  • Inability to speak
  • Dissociation

The Importance of Understanding your Window of Tolerance 

Understanding our Window of Tolerance helps us recognise when we’re nearing the edges of our tolerance so we can be proactive and use tools early to prevent us from tipping into states of dysregulation.

Our understanding also helps us to return our nervous system to a balanced state should it become hyper/hypo-aroused.

Expanding Your Window of Tolerance: Practical Strategies

Mindfulness Meditation: Regular mindfulness practice can enhance your awareness of emotional states and improve your ability to remain within your Window of Tolerance. This can involve simple practices like focused breathing or body scans.

Grounding Techniques: When feeling overwhelmed, grounding techniques can help bring you back to the present moment. This might include tactile activities like holding a cool stone, practicing deep breathing, or walking barefoot on grass

Psychological Therapy: Therapy using Cognitive Behavioural Techniques (CBT) and associated modalities (e.g. ACT, DBT) can help challenge and reframe unhelpful thought patterns that may push you out of your Window of Tolerance, improving your capacity to manage stress and emotional responses.

Physical Activity: Regular exercise has been shown to reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, helping to keep your arousal levels within a manageable range.

Social Support: Engaging with a supportive community or seeking professional help when needed can provide validation and coping strategies, essential for maintaining emotional balance.

You may have a small window of tolerance getting in the way of you being your best self if you:

  • Struggle with anxiety or depression
  • Constantly feel disconnected, lethargic, and fatigued


  • Frequently feel anxious, hyper-alert, and frazzled
  • Have difficulty staying engaged and present throughout the day

Contact us to arrange a confidential appointment with one of our qualified therapists and discuss how your window of tolerance can be expanded.